For years I denied anything constructed: anything I felt was man made, and therefore false, and therefore not something I wanted to take part in.
Thing is, that’s pretty limiting i this world, and the only way that could ever play out is going off-grid and living on land, taking nothing and living as indigenous people have done for a long time.
The call to do that has been immensely powerful. Intensely immense!
And yet, when I did live on the land, in a yurt, and have the opportunity to do the “natural living” thing, I could feel another part of me had soul - inspired jobs to fulfil, and our current way of being means I have to use a computer to reach out, and I need to “join in” to some extent.
Oh, the conflict!
Yet, now for the resolve:
Holding everything lightly!
And with that knowing, we’ve just come through Christmas and now we’re on the cusp of New Year.... and I've thoroughly enjoyed the whole she-bang, AND enjoyed a good few walks too...
Yet, these two human constructs I’ve both sneered at, and loved.
When contemplating the New Year yesterday while out in nature (my favourite place for it’s non-human intervention, right?), I realised rather than full-on denial or full-on immersion, the only way that feels legitimate is of course, to enjoy these socially agreed dates is in my own way.
So, whilst I can see, it’s a randomly chosen date from some Pope or other back in the day, we can of course, actual enjoy something that’s gathered momentum as a shared tradition, enjoy the numerology-fun present in any calendar system, while doing whatever it is that we want during said period.
Sounds obvious doesn’t it, when you’re in that place, and thank goodness I feel ever more in this place, and perhaps turning 40 was indeed the key to freedom after all…
Yet, when you’re in the depths of the conflict and turmoil that our mind can struggle with as culture, soul, family, social media and more bring us way too many choices and “scripts” to take on and embody, it’s not so obvious!
And it sucks!
Thank goodness we have access to so many self-soothing, problem-solving tools, such as the art of mindfulness, Internal Family Systems (my Christmas reading this year), a whole load of journalling, and any other conflict resolution system! .
Thank god!
It’s a joy to surrender to “what is”, creating life on our own terms, and letting go of what anyone else thinks. Again, it sounds obvious but until you’re there, you’re not!
Today, I’m enjoying settling in to this new place, meaning I’ve had a lie-in until 11, a sitting shower (my make-do bath ritual in my enormous luxury shower), and have been planning out my 3rd solo book (so I can finally write it this year).
Yes!
A whole day (and whole lifetime from now on), on my own terms.
And breathe.
And as for New Year’s Eve, whatever that really means (random winter’s eve, anyone?), I have one of my oldest school friends staying and my beloved Rob next door, so we’ve agreed to gather all our fave things and enjoy a gentle evening together.
So what elements am I bringing in for the New Year?
Intention settings, conveniently coinciding with the new moon yesterday, and making prayers to all the support in the heaven realm to assist me bring it the highest timeline to pass
Blue lotus tea ceremony - suggestion from visiting school friend
Medication - with said school friend who's a trained meditation teachers
Guided visualisation - my gift to us, to see what our higher self might want to show us “outside the box”
Nearly-vegan Lasagne and salad (already made this morning), home made minced pies (still to make absolutely no guilt! (It’s been a thing)
Prayer for the world
Giving thanks for 2024
Hmm. Sounds perfect. Oh, I might have some more golden milk as I finally bought some oat milk (enter conflict around buying ready made stuff and finding a cost effective way to make it myself)…
Hmm hmm hmm!
No drunk people, no social expectations, no polite and awkward small talk or being way to loud that I feel like I should be on stage and I can trust what will come out of my mount next (old habits die hard, and this, without so much of a drop of alcohol).
Ahhh, and breathe. I’m loving it, and wondering, what will you do? What have you done? What do you love, what do you dislike?Please do share, as I’ve been too busy “in my stuff” for years to ask others what their thing is, instead made assumption that are actually decades old or attempted to ignore the whole thing whilst feeling really sad that I’m missing out somehow!
I’m interested, and I’d love to hear from you!
So dear hearts, I wish you so much love this evening, and however you embrace the changing of our Gregorian calendar from one year (8) to the next (9), I wish you so many blessings for the rest of this cycle!
Warmest of love and blessings,
Caroline Mary xx
PS if you're new to numerology, it’s kinda fun to know 2025 is a 9 year and that means endings, and culminations, mastery, expansion, and completion… so, if like me, you’ve been carrying anything heavy, this is the year to put it down draw a close, finally find resolution and move onwards!
You can do this by journalling and burning (carefully!), prayers, breathing it all out into petals or sticks and letting them go into water... or any other releasing way you like! Then top off with a beautiful prayer for what you'd like to bring into your life.
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